Healthy relationships have a sense of security & comfort vs uncertainty & doubt…
There should be a 2 way street feeling. Where both listen and truly hear each others concerns and ideas and do their best to resolve a win win for both parties, or partners.
Unhealthy relationships have a lack of empathy towards their partner. Healthy relationships have the ability to understand the other partners needs and do their best to the responsibility of the relationship to create resolution in every opportunity.
Healthy relationships are built upon trust and appreciation towards one another. The gratitude that they share with each other maximizes itself over any need to ridicule or condemn in any way.
Unhealthy relationships make their partner dependent on the other with the attention they give them, or financially dependent, etc. This is a control mechanism for one to feel more superior than the other, which shows there is no solid trust within the foundation of the relationship, therefore, fear wins and makes one superior over the other.
Healthy relationships have no dependency because they are inter-dependent, meaning they both need eachother, so they value and respect each other enough to commit to their responsibilities and do their part so they can interweave their footprints with one another in a solid responsive way.
Unhealthy relationships put the other person down, comparing and condemning them, because they are trying to replace the lack of trust for something solid. Condemnation creates a solid expression, but is still not the same as simply having a bond built on trust.
Healthy relationships are honest and to the point, and also focusing on the strengths more than the flaws in the relationship, so that the inspiration of the strong points can build a stronger foundation of trust and belief in one another. Healthy relationships believe in eachother, because they also believe in themselves. One can only let go of condemnation towards others, when they have let it go within themselves and their own self talk.
Unhealthy relationships are emotionally withdrawing from their partner based on whatever mood they are in, and selfishly caring more about their own feelings than the win win of them and their partner. This also includes silent treatments when the partner has “failed to meet your standards”.
Healthy relationships realize, that your standards can only be given when the relationship has a solid amount of trust in it. This trust is what ignites the highest good of all to allow itself into the relationship. At some point the trust, turns into faith in the other person, which ultimately means you believe in them, which is a reflection of how you also are believing in yourself.
Unhealthy relationships have one partner constantly telling the other what their “problems” or “flaws” are, and then reward them with loving behavior temporarily, to satisfy the immediate moment, which is a way to control the other partner over their possibly legitimate reactions to the other partners emotional inconsistency. But because the trust is still not established there is no faith wide enough for the ears to hear the needs of their partner.
Healthy relationships know how to balance out the need to communicate with the need to really hear the other person. There is an amicable way of relating and discussing ideas together.
Unhealthy relationships can have curse words, or even a need to feel physically violent, which is super low vibration and makes the relationship sink like a ship, regardless of how much effort it took to build the ship. This destroys the trust in a relationship. This kind of emotional abuse makes the other partner feel they are not important, and their feelings dont matter.
Healthy relationships honor each others feelings allowing for more faith and trust to solidify the relationship. They know there isn’t anything they cant conquer together. They know there is a solution to every problem that has a win win outcome. They are constantly looking out for each other, and are always focused on the good. Which ultimately conquers all evil.
Unhealthy relationships are constantly making remarks about the other persons “issues” and always blaming the other person for being at fault and provoking you. Saying things such as “Your taking things too seriously”, or “I never said that”, “you are provoking me”, pretending the things they once said, they never said, anything to escape conversing in the moment to get more solid with one another. Then they blame the other person without taking any responsibility or response to the situation which is emotionally abusive.
Healthy relationships are more focused on the positive. Empowering the strengths and gifts in the their partner. Always instilling strength in them to feel better and stronger than ever before! This is where the win win experience begins.
Unhealthy relationships make the other person constantly doubt themselves, giving no faith in their gifts, zero empowerment, zero compliments, zero appreciation. Emotionally invalidating their partner making them feel powerless, and thus the relationship fails in its trust and faith in one another. Making the other person feel they can no longer even trust their intuitive feelings and questioning themselves makes their partner weaker, which helps no one.
If something like this occurs, then the partner who is subjected to this criminal abuse, either continues to empower the other person, hoping that they will see the light, and is strong enough to carry the relationship forward even with all the ridicule. However, at some point they must put their foot down, unless they want to constantly become the punching bag of a lower vibrations lack of trust and faith within themselves. One does not need to be a victim to this any longer and must demand a 2 way street in order to re-establish balance in the relationship. Otherwise mistrust and ones inner negative feelings toward themselves will take over the relationship and turn into misery for both. The lead can not be the victim who is still holding on to misery. Especially if this person is in denial about their own personal misery being projected onto their partner.
In a healthy relationship, one can express their own misery and inner negative feelings and be able to trust their partner can assist them to feel more trust in them, and therefore, replace any lack from their past into their partner, and see the light again.
In an unhealthy relationship, one always blames the other person for being “unstable” for example, and then deflects any accusation from the other partner, out of fear that they may be wrong.
When someone is secure, they have no fear of being wrong, because they have no problem accepting responsibility for everything in their lives. An insecure person can not accept being wrong, and therefore isn’t humble enough to grow in a relationship w themselves or others. They do not feel the need to take any responsibility for how they are making you feel, and instead provokes the other person with their emotional dissonance and then blames the other person, instead of conversing in an amicable way. Unhealthy relationships are filled with security.
Healthy relationships thrive off of security.
Unhealthy relationships make the other person feel insecure about the relationship.
In healthy relationships, any disagreement transcends into resolution- through clear communication, healthy boundaries, trust, understanding and action. Even if there is a habitual negative pattern in one partner, there is ultimately the deepest level of trust in that person, which is what accumulates and creates a safety haven for the other to turn their negative habit into a positive one.
In a intimate relationship with one, if jealousy comes up, it is dealt with in a healthy manner. Unhealthy relationships however, when these kinds of issues come up, choose instead to “keep their options open” through their words and actions, constantly creating more drama and insecurity within the bond. Instead of creating more trust and closeness, one partner is Ultimately creating a lack trust, rather than gaining it. This is not a healthy relationship.
These unhealthy kinds of tactics keeps one partner more superior than the other, creating a unhealthy separation. Keeping the other “on their toes” or in check. It makes in a intimate relationship, one so busy competing with the other options that they cant even focus on their personal goals, because they are too busy feeling unstable within the relationship, causing triggers for one to feel unstable within themselves.
In a healthy relationship We want to produce healthy triggers not unhealthy triggers. We all have triggers. Which are you producing in yourself? Which are you producing in your partner?
When one has the need to feel superior, they immediately create separation ,which ignites the ego and creating walls for one to hide behind, creating a construct of qualities and traits one presents to the world that are not totally true to where one is at. A false self appears to others, meanwhile there is negative feeling within towards self for creating that separation. The armor of this person can get so thick and cover itself in a coat of denial, that they will develop a lack of empathy for others, loved ones, and new relationships over time as well. Becoming more and more detached to the world around them.
Unhealthy relationships one becomes charming and loving sweet and says profound things about the future, and shortly after ridicules and invalids all that ways said and belittles daily. NO one doing this will grow until they can drop this illusion through their behavior. This behavior is a form of COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. Which eventually if one succeeds at this behavior, then the other person begins to doubt themselves, and blame themselves. Although good awareness came come from this, its not the ultimate direction that a healthy relationship can lead.
In a healthy relationship, For every negative thing one person says, it is healthy to say an extra 5 positive things, to assist the person to awaken their souls into inspiration and motivation to growth and transformation.
When the negative becomes superior to the positive in any relationship, one feels the need to constantly “improve” themselves, never feeling that they can reach your standards. Even if they follow them, there will always be something else to improve upon, because the negative is noticed, but the positive is not appreciated, leading a person to be lead by negative emotion vs positive inspiration. This is unhealthy.
When one blames themselves too often, for not ever feeling good enough to follow the speed of their partners constant expectations and standards that are never ending, with out any show of appreciation or gratitude, eventually it shows that both have negative self esteem. one for having the need to create separation which comes from separation from within. And the other one for being patient beyond means, thus creating more insecurity and stress within self, and no longer is there a positive lead in the relationship. Thus, no one can help you out of that, except for 2 willing partners. Who can see into themselves far enough to want to focus on the light, the positive outcomes, possibilities, and dreams through their words, efforts, and positive gratitude.
In healthy relationships, one points out the areas that one can grown in in a loving way, and because the trust is already there, they trust that advice, and allow it to move them. In a negative relationship there is physical and emotional dissonance.
In healthy relationships there is compliments, upliftment, positive words and emotions because it reflects the positive way they feel about themselves inside. I think therefore I am.
In a unhealthy relationship, one bear witnesses to the others coldness indifference and detachment, and you think thats your “freedom”, you got it all backwards. This is jaded and unhealthy.
A partner is not just another another source of supply. This must be a healthy boundary to be said and understood.
In a healthy relationship, both people must know what it means to truly love themselves.